Saturday, May 26, 2012

Troy - The Mega Mouth

After graduating from college, I had limited number of friends left in Oklahoma and was looking forward to meeting some new folks.  A couple of guys had moved into the area and I managed to get myself invited to a few game nights.  I'm gonna be honest. I was a little proud of how quickly I'd made friends. Yay me!

One night, after making a joke about how clean my mouth was after visiting the dentist (which **spoiler alert** would later lead to my demise) I was invited to another of these game nights.  Everyone was meeting at his office... which had a perfect room for games and a projection screen.

I arrived at the office at the appointed time.  Just me.  A few minutes later, he pulled up in his truck and apologized for being late.

Then came the next apology.

"Hey, sorry! I totally forgot to invite the others."
Uh... Is this a trap?!
He decided it would be less awkward for us just to go back to his place to watch a movie or something.

Yes. This is a trap.
Upon arriving at his apartment, I was relieved to find that his roommate was home.  This was a  "problem," however, because the roommate (whom I knew well and was fairly certain wouldn't have cared) "wouldn't want us there."

The solution? Grab a game and a few movies and head back to the office. Alone. Of course we should only take his car... why would I need mine?

No doubt about it. Trap.

At the office we kicked things off with a game of Scrabble. No harm there. Good clean fun. Then he pulled out the four movies he had chosen.  Of course they were all creepy thrillers.  After all, no trap would be complete without a scary movie!
We settled on one and I left the room for a moment.  I came back to find a dark room with him on a blanket on the floor. I joined him on the opposite side of the blanket.  He left briefly, the point of which I can now assume was to smoothly sit closer when he returned and slip his arm around me.


A few minutes after the movie started, I turned slightly to ask him a question. 

Bad move. 

If only I'd known that would be my last gasp of air for a very long time.  That kid latched onto my face before I had a clue what was going on.

Without details I'll just say that the next while was filled with me defending my own virtue, trying not to get swallowed and begging to just watch the movie.  To this day I haven't seen "Edward Scissorhands" all the way through.  (Yes, that's really what we were watching.)

When the movie finally ended I awkwardly rode back to his apartment and tried to avoid any bad follow-up kissing on the way to my car.

Talking to him later I found out he had hoped to actually date me.  By this time I wasn't interested.  Perhaps I should take a little more time making friends in the future.

Word to the wise, gentlemen: Just ask the girl out.  It'll probably work better than tricking her into a date-like scenario and assaulting her face for two hours.

Advice to the ladies: Don't tell a boy you just went to the dentist.  They get these ideas...


  1. I remember that office with the projector :) fun times...

  2. hmmmm this sounds suspiciously like a guy I went on a couple dates with in Tulsa. interesting...