Saturday, September 22, 2012

Jerry & Al - (Double Date?)

This post I will preface by saying that I like both of these guys.  They were good friends of mine, but this will always be one of my favorite stories...

Shortly after I'd met these fellas, Al called me up to ask if I would like to go on a double date with Jerry and another girl we'd been hanging out with.  Snow cones and a movie. Sounded fun! I told him I would meet them at his house after work.

A few minutes before I would be heading over, Jerry called to ask if I would like a ride over to Al's.  Hmm. Not thinking much of it, I told him I just planned to meet them all there.

I don't remember why, but on the way to get snow cones, the other girl and I sat in the back and let the guys take the front. (I know, doesn't sound like me at all.) All good so far.

The awkwardness started after I'd ordered my snow cone and both guys pulled out their wallets.  After noticing an uncomfortable look between the two of them, I went to sit down while the guys had a short 'team huddle.'  They came over to the booth a minute later and Al sat next to me while Jerry sat across with the other girl. The rest of the night, while very fun, was filled with some slight tension.

Evidently there had been some miscommunication about who was taking whom on this date.  Both had thought I was with them.

Bless their hearts.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Dale - Axe Murderer?

So I'm sure I've mentioned it in other posts, but I always have to wonder when I'm set up on a date by someone who reads this blog if they're secretly hoping to see a post about it.  In this particular case I doubt that's true because there really wasn't anything wrong with the guy... just the scenario.  You'll see what I mean.

About a year ago I had a blind date with a law student from ASU.  I hadn't talked to him much before, but he seemed nice enough when he picked me up. 

After driving for about twenty minutes, I realized I couldn't remember the last time we'd passed a building...or any sign of civilization.  Finally I asked where he was taking me (episodes of Law&Order flashing through my mind.)

He apologetically explained he had planned to go out to the lake to look at the stars with some binoculars he'd gotten.

When we got out to the lake and pulled into the parking lot, he looked around and decided it wasn't dark enough and drove around to the opposite side of the lake. (Okay, maybe he really is going to kill me.)

The sun had set nearly completely when we got out.  He led me to a hiking trail... which we took in the dark for about a half mile.

By this time I was pretty sure I wasn't going to make it out of there alive.  Of course, out of politeness, I'd left my phone in his car.  How would my roommates even know where to look for my body?

The rest of the date actually went pretty well.  Toward the end of the evening I did point out that I typically don't hike in the wilderness alone with strangers and he realized how creepy it must have been.  We had a good laugh and he asked if he could take me out again the following week to do something less obscure. (Note: he never did.)

I think of this blind date every time I drive out to that lake. The night I thought I might not come back...

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Troy - The Mega Mouth

After graduating from college, I had limited number of friends left in Oklahoma and was looking forward to meeting some new folks.  A couple of guys had moved into the area and I managed to get myself invited to a few game nights.  I'm gonna be honest. I was a little proud of how quickly I'd made friends. Yay me!

One night, after making a joke about how clean my mouth was after visiting the dentist (which **spoiler alert** would later lead to my demise) I was invited to another of these game nights.  Everyone was meeting at his office... which had a perfect room for games and a projection screen.

I arrived at the office at the appointed time.  Just me.  A few minutes later, he pulled up in his truck and apologized for being late.

Then came the next apology.

"Hey, sorry! I totally forgot to invite the others."
Uh... Is this a trap?!
He decided it would be less awkward for us just to go back to his place to watch a movie or something.

Yes. This is a trap.
Upon arriving at his apartment, I was relieved to find that his roommate was home.  This was a  "problem," however, because the roommate (whom I knew well and was fairly certain wouldn't have cared) "wouldn't want us there."

The solution? Grab a game and a few movies and head back to the office. Alone. Of course we should only take his car... why would I need mine?

No doubt about it. Trap.

At the office we kicked things off with a game of Scrabble. No harm there. Good clean fun. Then he pulled out the four movies he had chosen.  Of course they were all creepy thrillers.  After all, no trap would be complete without a scary movie!
We settled on one and I left the room for a moment.  I came back to find a dark room with him on a blanket on the floor. I joined him on the opposite side of the blanket.  He left briefly, the point of which I can now assume was to smoothly sit closer when he returned and slip his arm around me.


A few minutes after the movie started, I turned slightly to ask him a question. 

Bad move. 

If only I'd known that would be my last gasp of air for a very long time.  That kid latched onto my face before I had a clue what was going on.

Without details I'll just say that the next while was filled with me defending my own virtue, trying not to get swallowed and begging to just watch the movie.  To this day I haven't seen "Edward Scissorhands" all the way through.  (Yes, that's really what we were watching.)

When the movie finally ended I awkwardly rode back to his apartment and tried to avoid any bad follow-up kissing on the way to my car.

Talking to him later I found out he had hoped to actually date me.  By this time I wasn't interested.  Perhaps I should take a little more time making friends in the future.

Word to the wise, gentlemen: Just ask the girl out.  It'll probably work better than tricking her into a date-like scenario and assaulting her face for two hours.

Advice to the ladies: Don't tell a boy you just went to the dentist.  They get these ideas...