Sunday, June 19, 2011

Sam (Prom+Trauma=Prauma)

This was one of the single most traumatizing evenings of my life. It all began as I was sitting next to a friend of mine at a church meeting. Someone I had never before met was sitting on the other side of him. About halfway through the meeting I was passed a note which read, "I know you don't really know me, but my prom is next week and I have a limo and everything, but no date. Would you go with me?"

Unsure how to respond to the note seeing as how I knew only his name at this point, I told him I'd have to ask. Before I knew it I was getting emails from mutual friends telling me how brave it was that I was going with him and what a nice thing to do. Wait... what's wrong with this guy?? Of course, I didn't feel I could back out now that everyone thought I had agreed to go. How bad could it be?

I found a phenomenal dress and got a friend to do my hair, but as it came closer to the time for him to pick me up, I felt more and more uncomfortable. The second the doorbell rang, I lost it. I went into complete hysterics and stayed near the toilet trying not to throw up as I touched up my now-smeared make-up. After gathering myself, I went out to find him having a friendly chat with my dad in the front room. I let them snap one quick picture before we headed out to the four-door sedan in the driveway driven by his brother and brother's wife. Apparently he'd been grounded and had his driving privileges revoked, and limo plans and clearly fallen through. He spent the entirety of the 40 minute drive staring at my dress.

The first stop was to meet up with another couple (thank goodness) before going to some lady's house to take at least an hour's worth of really uncomfortable engagementesque photos. (Remember how I had never officially met this guy?) Apparently this broke the ice for him well enough that he did not stop touching me for the rest of the evening. Always physical contact of some kind.

Dinner was at an obscure French restaurant with entrees which were impossible for any 16 year old to pronounce, and I still felt queasy enough that I could do little more than pick at the rolls and nervously sip my water. On the way to the dance (finally) we got lost. This wouldn't have been a big deal except that I had done nothing but sip water for the last hour and a half. By the time we made it to the dance, I had to use the restroom so badly they had to drop us off at the door before parking. It was nearly disastrous. I will say this was the one piece of time that I was being neither stared at nor groped in the entire evening.

The high school he went to can only be described as an inner city magnet school. The kind of place that students like him were chartered in specifically to raise the graduation rate. I could count on two hands the number of Caucasian females in the room with me. I stood out. I was paraded around by the waist to meet every teacher and half of the student body.

As for the dancing... Let's just say that was also not what I was accustomed to. The couple we came with decided it wasn't a place they wanted to be and asked if we were ready to leave. My date decided we would stay. When they had gone he pointed to one of the grinding couples and asked, "Would you like to dance more like that?" I managed to last about another 30 minutes before I let him know I was ready to go.

We waited for another 30 minutes for his dad to come pick us up. It was a long ride home. I allowed him to walk me to the door, dodged a kiss, and rushed inside where I closed the door and promptly began to cry.

I told my mom about the non-ideal night I had had. She laughed and said, "Well... Your father thinks he's pretty sharp."


  1. Haha!!! I love your mom's comment!! Miss ya Ami!

  2. ha ha. Oh that sounds like an awful night! But at least your dad like him! :)

  3. How well I remember this one! I can only say I am so sorry. But you did look very pretty. And the guy did have a plan for his life that would win over any father.

  4. Any guy can have a plan, mom...

  5. So true, Ami! Just because a guy has 'a plan' doesn't make him or it 'good'.
    Wow, Ami. This one was truly a terrible date. I hope you never heard from him again--or at least never went out again with him.