Thursday, April 8, 2010

Nick (So Close...Yet So Far)

I was asked out by this young man after moving to a new area. He told me he was house-sitting and invited me to have dinner (which he would be cooking) and watch a movie with him. It sounded pleasant enough, and so it was!

He picked me up and took me to the grocery store on our way to the house he was watching. (In hind sight, the fact that he was taking me to an empty house that didn't belong to him in the next town over might have been a red flag. Let this be a lesson, ladies.) He grilled some steaks while I put together a salad. Dinner was actually pretty fabulous, as was the conversation. Could this possibly be a decent date?

After cleaning up, we put in a slightly creepy movie (which I've since realized is a tactic used to get closer to girls... I've seen it a number of times since.) Throughout the movie and to my happy surprise, no inappropriate advances were made... unless you count the all-too-available hand on the couch next to me as if to say, "It's here you want it." (I didn't.)

As he was about to drive me home, his phone rang. He told me it was his best friend, probably calling to see how the date went. Curious to see how he thought the date had gone, I laughed and told him he could take it if he wanted to. He put it on speaker.

I listened as he told his friend that the date had gone VERY well. He then proceeded to tell a very descriptive (and completely fictitious) story about how I was "all over him" wanting to make out the entire time, along with a few other revoltingly inappropriate delusions. But that wasn't the worst part. After laying out the lies, his friend replied:

"Dude, when you told me you were going out with her, I totally knew she would be like that!"

Turning bright red, he told his friend he would give him "more details" later and hung up. Of course I protested that he hadn't told the friend that he'd been lying. In response, he turned to me and said, "Well, the way I see it, we have two options here. Either you can call my friend back and tell him that was a lie... or we can do everything I told him right now."

I opted for #3: He drove me home in awkward silence and promised he would call his friend the next morning. To this day, I'm not sure he did. I ran into the friend two weeks later at a bowling alley. Uncomfortable.

The ironic part is that up until that point, I probably would have gone out with him again.


  1. Hmmmm...What's a mother to say to that? I would really like to slap him silly or black and blue for the lie and for not straightening it out immediately! So dispicable !@#$%^&*!

  2. Where do these guys come from??? Seriously!

  3. I am certainly glad you insisted he take the call--that way you didn't have to waste any more of your time with him. Learn as much as you can as quickly as you can--without creeping anyone out, of course. We guys are getting a really bad rap lately--but only because those in question have earned it.

  4. I'm reading these aloud to Kirk and we are both cracking up! Thanks for giving us a laugh and keep posting these funny moments :)

  5. ...Kirk said "next time you are in Oklahoma then let us know and we will bring you the keylime pie" ...not sure what he is talking about??

  6. I love this blog. What's sad is I don't think stories like this one are very rare. How sad is that! I mean, I just had a dude I dated but haven't talked to in weeks because he's so clingy and offensive say to me, "I know you can't do better than me." Seriously? Who ARE these guys??? I told a friend about it and he said "Look at the bright side. When you get called to work with young women, you'll laugh about it." I give you the same consolation for all your crazy stories.